


Living Memories

by BakerStTardis (Sokashi)



Series: Hobbit Advent [14]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-15
Updated: 2013-12-15
Packaged: 2018-01-04 17:18:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1083613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sokashi/pseuds/BakerStTardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hobbit Advent Day Fourteen. Prompt midnight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Living Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Part three and final for now. Please the previous two to understand what's going on.

Fili and Kili woke late to a pair of blue eyes peering over the edge of the bed at them. Fili grunted, eyes half opened, unwilling to really move. "We're being watched." He said in a low voice that made Frodo giggle and duck out of sight. 

Smiling, Kili rolled across his brother to snatch playfully at the the child. "I'll catch him!" Grunting as Kili drove the wind from him, Fili rolled his eyes and shoved even as Frodo dodged away. With a little exclaim action of surprise, Kili toppled from the bed to land in a heap. He laughed at his own ungainliness and kicked at Fili with the foot still on the edge of the bed. "Thanks, brother."

"No problem." Fili said mildly, sitting up. "Anytime you need a shove, just let me know." Kili made a face and kicked at him again, but his reach was bad and Fili just smiled, pushing his foot off the bed with the rest of him. Then he peered around dramatically, brow furrowing beneath his wild hair. "You didn't squish him, did you? Bilbo'll be upset if we've squished his nephew."

Frodo laughed loudly and peeked around the foot of the bed. "No! I'm here!" He exclaimed cheerfully and stepped a little closer. "I thought you were going to sleep all day." His eyes were curious and surprisingly serious as he stared at them. Then they brightened suddenly before the brothers could even share a look. "Come on! Get up! Let's go see our Winter Souls!"

There was no denying a hobbit child, they found. They were too excitable, too cute to disappoint for even a second. So no matter how much Fili would've loved to lounge around in a bed for a little while longer, he got up and followed his brother and Frodo down the hall to the living room. On the table where they'd left everything the night before the candles had burned down to nubs, but the pots were filled with flowers. Frodo made an excited noise and ran towards his. The pot had two crisp white, fat petaled flowers that were edged with soft grey. Bilbo's pots were more colorful. He dead a red and a couple yellows. Two white ones that exactly matched Frodo's, and a pair that were the color of old parchment with swirls of almost gold on them. Fili and Kili's were blue. Rich blue with darker blue lines that almost but didnt quite look like runes on the petals.

"What is this? Some kind of hobbit magic?" Fili asked, crouching down to look closer at it.

In the doorway Bilbo stopped, startled, and laughed kindly as he joined them. "What? No. They're just Winter Souls." He said a lightly and kissed the top of Frodo's head. "I'm going to make some food. Will you be all right by yourselves?" He asked and cast an eye and Fili and Kili suspiciously.

The brothers straightened. "Yes." Kili replied and shared a look with Fili. "Unless you want one of us to keep you company?"

Bilbo pretended not to sweet the hope in their eyes as he waved a hand and wandered out of the room. "No, I'm fine on my own. Thank you. Frodo, see that they both clean up some before we eat. Dwarves are terribly messy." He teased. Fili and Kili shared another look as he left the room and Kili started to stand and follow when Frodo spoke.

"Are you here to take Uncle Bilbo home?" The dwarves froze and Frodo looked up at then, his little face earnest.

"Home?" Kili repeated and sank down to Frodo's height as Fili sat nearby.

"To the mountain." Frodo said. "You're here to take him back, right?" He looked so worried that the brothers shared a look, not knowing what to say. "You can take him back and he'll be happy there."

"Will he?" Fili asked faintly because they all wanted Bilbo back but it was increasingly obvious he had plenty to keep him in the Shire.

Frodo nodded vigorously. "He thinks I don't see it but I do. He's sad but he tries to hide it." He fiddled with the petals on his flower.

"Sad?" Kili repeated and his eyes were wide and ridiculous, making Fili both want to comfort him and roll his eyes.

Fili leaned forward, catching Frodo's gaze. "We're here to visit." He said, not wanting to cause problems. Frodo's face crumpled, but Fili put a hand out quickly. "But we'd love to have him back in Erebor. It's just-" He looked at Kili, floundering, but his brother was no help. It was obvious Kili just wanted to say they could leave right then. "It's a little complicated, Frodo. Can you understand that?"

Frodo nodded, looking a little sad but less upset. "Do you-" He stopped and bit his lip, glancing between the dwarves. Kili gave him a smile and dared to reach out and hug him a little, worried he'd scare the child. 

"What is it?" He asked encouragingly.

Frodo eyed them again then took a deep breath as he looked up and met Fili's eyes. "Do you think I can come too?" He asked, his voice tight and eyes tearing. Then the words spilled out. "I want Uncle to be happy but I don't want to lose him or go back to living in the Took house or have everyone fight over me again..." He was tearing up and Kili scooped him into his arms, looking a little frantic at the threat of the child's tears.

"You are every bit as welcome as Bilbo." Kili said. "Maybe more do if you let us throw the plates at dinner."

Frodo drew back and gave him a scandalized look. "They're over a hundred years old!" He said in that same appalled tone Bilbo had used on them long ago.

Fili and Kili burst into laughter and Kili cuddled Frodo reassuringly. "I think Bilbo has had you to himself for too long, Frodo." He teased. "You sound just like him."

The small hobbit wrinkled his nose, staring thoughtfully at the dwarf before wriggling to stand. "Come on. Time to clean up. You smell like pony." He declared. Fili and Kili burst into laughter again, following obediently and just glad they'd avoided any hobbit tears. 

 

"You know what the letter said." Bilbo sat with his teacup and stared out the window. Frodo was playing outside with the promise that Fili and Kili would join him later. Leaving Bilbo to face what he least wanted to.

"We...suspect." Fili said taking a seat nearby. He felt like he should move and speak cautiously, like the wrong thing could set Bilbo against them.

"The answer is no." Bilbo said and looked down into his teacup so he wouldn't have to see their faces. "You're welcome to stay as long as you like. I don't like the idea of the two of you trying to travel through the winter. And I'll send you a letter to give to Thorin."

Kili shook his head. "Bilbo, please-"

"No." Bilbo said firmly, finally looking up at them. He had his determined face on, but slightly flustered and he quickly looked down again. "It's not- I'm not angry." He said with a little sigh. "It has nothing to do with what happened before. I just- I'm a hobbit. I have a home here and- and not just me to think about this time but Frodo too." It was the flimsiest argument he'd ever spoken and he knew it as he said it. There were, there had to be dozens of reasons he shouldn't even consider it but his mind was supplying none of them except that it was risky. So, so risky.

"Bilbo, we miss you. All of us. So very much." Kili said passionately, leaning forward in his earnestness. "Uncle especially. He never says a word, but he gets this look on his face or sometimes turns. Like he expects to find you there-" Bilbo stood abruptly and fussed over the tea things, not looking at the dwarves. He was blinking fast, trying not to tear up, trying not to imagine Thorin doing just as Kili said. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Fili reach for his brother and lean in to whisper something. A minute later Kili sighed and tossed Bilbo a desperate look the hobbit pretended not to see before he left the room. Silence fell. Comfortable but expectant. Bilbo put it off, ignoring Fili as Kili appeared outside the window, grinning at Frodo with only a slightly strained smile. He made a fresh cup of tea and sat again, finally looking up into Fili's face. 

Kili was excitable. Reckless and cheerful and sweet. Fili was gentle and patient and really Bilbo halfway wished he hadn't been the one to stay and continue the conversation. Understanding brown eyes met Bilbo's and Fili smiled slightly. "We aren't here to push you." He said and chuckled a little. "In fact our Uncle gave us very explicit instructions on NOT forcing you back to Erebor." Bilbo had to smile at that because he could imagine it. "We do miss you though."

Bilbo nodded, his throat thick, eyes burning. "I miss you, too. All of you." He set his tea down because his hands were threatening to shake and took a deep breath in an effort not to cry. "It isn't the same since I came back. It's...quiet. Even with Frodo." He laughed a little, strained. "He's too much like me. We can read and look at maps for hours. Not talk to anyone else for days..." He swallowed and stared at his hands before peering up at Fili a little anxiously. "I can't risk it, Fili. I can't go through that again." Bilbo snapped his mouth shut because that wasn't what he intended to say. He meant to say he couldn't risk Frodo. Shocked, Bilbo just sat there, not knowing what to say next. Then Fili stood and came around the table to crouch in front of him. Bilbo tried to look away, embarrassed, but Fili put a hand over Bilbo's clasped ones and squeezed gently. Surprised, Bilbo looked up to meet his eyes and Fili just smiled. His eyes wre understanding and sad.

"Okay." He said, the beads in his mustache swinging.

"Okay what?" Bilbo asked a little tightly.

Fili smirked a little. "Just, whatever you decide. Okay. We won't try to talk you out of it. Whatever you need. We want you happy only..."

This time Bilbo quirked a brow. "Only what?" He asked and at Fili's cautious and reluctant face frowned a little. "Only what?" He repeated.

Fili took a deep breath and let it out slowly, sitting back on his heels. "Frodo asked us to take you with us when we left."

"He did what?" Bilbo demanded, shocked.

Fili rolled his shoulders in a shrug. "Not in so many words, of course. He said you're sad here even though you try to hide it and he wants us to bring you home. Those were his words. He called Erebor your home." Fili paused to let that sink in a reluctantly continued with a sigh. "Then he asked if he could come too because he didn't want to be separated from you."

Bilbo sputtered, surprised and not angry exactly but definitely shocked. "And what did you say?" He asked, settling on surprised amusement with a touch of worry. 

Fili twitched his mustache looking a little uncomfortable. "Well I tried not to commit to anything but he looked like he was about to cry and you know Kili."

Bilbo laughed and closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead a bit. "Yes, I know Kili." He sighed a little then his smile faded as he looked away a bit. "He said that? Truly?"

Fili nodded and dug out his pipe. "He's a smart child."

Bilbo grunted. "I don't look sad." He said suddenly. Fili's brows flew up and he looked amused. "I don't." Bilbo insisted although the dwarf wasn't arguing. "And the answer is still no. No matter what Frodo thinks I need."

"Okay." Fili said again, standing. 

Bilbo scowled. "I don't like either one of you." He pouted. Outside, Frodo was squealing as Kili ran past with him high over his head. 

Fili's smirk grew. "Whatever you say, Bilbo." 

There was a knock on the window before Kili pushed it open and stuck his head inside, Frodo clinging to his back. "Hey, Bilbo. Do you hobbits have any more of these children laying around?"

Fili grinned as Frodo started chanting excitedly and Bilbo made an exasperated noise before standing and shoving his face back out the window. "No you can't have a hobbit child, Kili." He snapped but without venom. "Frodo, exhaust our guests before they get anymore dumb ideas, would you?" Frodo cheered and pummeled the dwarf's back making Kili drop dramatically. Bilbo shut and locked the window behind him then turned to find Fili grinning.

"It's certainly not quiet around here now." He pointed out.

 

The rest of the day passed in a pleasant blur. Fili said something to Kili that kept the younger dwarf from harassing Bilbo about his decision. Frodo didn't say a word but Bilbo knew at some point he'd have to sit and explain. But explain how? Explain what? That Bilbo was scared to go to Erebor? That the thought of facing Thorin again left him both anxious and excited? That he wouldn't, couldn't risk Frodo's best interests just to make himself happy? How could he explain to a child what he wasn't certain of himself? How could he explain without running the risk of Frodo blaming himself for whatever unhappiness- loneliness he saw in Bilbo?

The questions had Bilbo up at midnight, too restless to sleep. The dark was deep outside, unbroken by stars or snow. Hobbiton was silent in a way it often wasn't, even at night. Bilbo paced Bag End, fingers tracing the familiar warm wooden walls, his pipe hanging half forgotten in his hand. He had his books and maps and armchair here. His garden outside where he admittedly spent less time now than Gamgee did. He had family for Frodo and eventually the boy would start to make friends again. Look how well he was paying with Kili and Fili... And, Frodo aside, Erebor wasn't for him. Erebor was a dwarf kingdom, ruled and filled by dwarves. A culture very different than a hobbits'. 

In the silence of the night Bilbo told himself he was home. Where he belonged. Wasn't he? The Shire. Hobbiton. Bag End. They were home for him. Where He was born and raised and meant to be, right? Only, if that was so why did the night feel like it was holding its breath around him? Why did Bag End feel like a memory even when he stood inside it? It was crazy to even consider going to Erebor wasn't it? To drag Frodo through the wilds? Yes, the lands were safer than they were but Frodo was a child and there was only Fili and Kili to help protect him and if Thorin knew about Frodo he never would've asked...

Bilbo found himself standing in his rooms staring at the letter. The contract lay on the table with its blank spaces for signatures. Bilbo found himself reaching for it, frowning a little. Picking it up he carried it into his study.

The next morning Fili and Kili found Bilbo fast asleep at his desk, ink staining his fingers. Beneath his hand was a contract in familiar handwriting. Kili tugged it free to look at it and started grinning. There were additions and notations made all over its surface, but at the bottom was Bilbo's signature. Fili leaned over his shoulder to read it and grinned, too before grabbing a pen and scribbling his signature, too, completing it. 

"Let him sleep." Fili said, setting the pen aside. "We'll get Frodo his breakfast."


End file.
